Archive for the 'Humor' Category

Hell Explained (by a Chemistry Student)

Sunday, January 13th, 2008

hell.jpg

Hell Explained (by a Chemistry Student)

Thanks to: Fakharan

Jan. 14, 2008

 

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so “profound” that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

 

Bonus Question:

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

 

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

 

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

 

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. ‘'’ Since there is more”’ than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

 

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

 

If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it?

 

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, “It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,” and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct……leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting “Oh my God.”

 

This student received the only “A”.

The Evolution of Western Philosophy

Wednesday, September 12th, 2007

tobedoRahaSmile.JPG

The Evolution of Western Philosophy

Thanks to: Raha Talebinejad

Sep.12, 2007

Socrates (470 BC–399 BC), the ancient Greek philosopher, says:

To be is to do!

And Plato (428/427 BC–348/347 BC), another ancient Greek philosopher, says:

To do is to be!

which is also repeated by the French existentialist philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre (1905 –1980).

However, it was Frank Sinatra, the American 20th century philosopher (sorry, I meant singer!), who tops them all by saying:

Do be do be do!

If you don’t believe it listen to the end of Sinatra’s famous song called:

Strangers in the night

(For other video songs of Frank Sinatra see the links at the end.)

And here are some other relevant quotes:

To be or not to be. William Shakespeare’s Hamlet

Cogito ergo sum. (I think, therefore I am.) Rene Descartes

I am. God

God is dead! Nietzsche

Nietzsche is dead! God

Reference:

What’s the Big To-Do?

Selected Video Songs of Frank Sinatra:

May way

Fly me to the moon

New York

It was a very good year

I have got you under my skin

Autumn Leaves

About Raha:

(Raha Talebinejad is a member of Shirin Science Center and an FBI girl.)

(Divorced Barbie) !باربی مطلقه

Tuesday, September 11th, 2007

divorcedBarbie.jpg 

باربی مطلقه!

با تشکر از: اقلیما

20 شهریور 1386

(باربی، Barbie، عروسکی نمادین از زنی غربی است که ارزشهایش در تجملات مادی خلاصه میشود.)

یک روز پدری در راه  برگشتن از کار به  خانه ناگهان به خاطرمی آورد که روز تولد دخترش است.  اوفورأ سر راه خودش را به فروشگاه اسباب بازی فروشی رسانده  و از فروشنده میپرسد:

“ببخشید، قیمت عروسک های باربی که در ویترینه، چنده؟”

فروشنده میگه:

” منظورتون کدومه،  آقا؟

  قیمت باربی ورزشکار 20هزار تومن،

باربی خریدکن  20هزار تومن،

باربی ساحلی  20هزار تومن،

 باربی رقاص  20هزار تومن،

باربی باله ای  20هزار تومن،

 باربی فضانورد  20هزار تومن،

 باربی اسکیت باز 20هزار تومن،

و باربی مطلقه 250هزار تومنه.”

پدر متحیرانه می پرسه:

” چی؟! چرا باربی مطلقه 250هزاز تومن و بقیه فقط 20 هزار تومنه؟”

فروشنده خانم که قدری عصبانی شده بود چشم قهره ای میره،  نفس عمیقی  می کشه و میگه:

 ” آقا…، باربی مطلقه شامل ماشین کن(شوهر قبلی باربی)، خونه کن، قایق کن، مبلمان کن، کامپیوتر کن، … و یکی از دوستان کنه!”.

اطلاعات بیشتر:

(در کشورهای غربی، خصوصأ آمریکا، قضات دادگاهای  طلاق میتوانند در صورت تمایل/ترفند زن،  تقریبأ تمام منابع مادی را از مرد گرفته و به زن مطلقه بدهند. متاسفانه زنان مهاجری که حاضرند شرافت و تعهد انسانی خود را به مادیات زندگی بفروشند، قادر بوده اند با سوء استفاده از دادگاههای غربی، از طلاق به عنوان دستاویزی برای تصاحب منابع مادی همسرانشان بهره گیرند.)

نمایش مکانیزم بیولوژیکی زنان برای تسلط  بر مردان و غصب اموال آنها، ویدئومستند

Barbie

Western Divorce

================================= 

Divorced Barbie!

One day a father gets out of work and on his way home, he suddenly remembers that it’s his daughter’s birthday. He pulls over to a toy shop and asks the salesperson,

“How much for one of those Barbie’s in the display window?”

The salesperson answers,

“Which one do you mean, sir?

We have:

Work Out Barbie for $19.95,

Shopping Barbie for $19.95,

Beach Barbie for $19.95,

Disco Barbie for $19.95,

Ballerina Barbie for $19.95,

Astronaut Barbie for $19.95,

Skater Barbie for $19.95,

and Divorced Barbie for $249.95.”

The amazed father asks:

“It’s what?!

Why is the Divorced Barbie $249.95 and the others only $19.95?”

The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers:

“Sir …,Divorced Barbie comes with:

Ken’s Car, Ken’s House, Ken’s Boat, Ken’s Furniture, Ken’s Computer and …One of Ken’s Friends“.

:More Information

The biological mechanism used by women for possessing men’s belonging, real video